If you love coffee and quotes, we’ve put together a collection of the best inspirational, witty, wise, and humorous coffee quotes for your reading pleasure. These top 78 coffee quotes are perfect for any caffeinated content you plan to post on Instagram, Facebook, or any social media platform. Enjoy!
Best Coffee Quotes from Famous Coffee Drinkers
- “What do you want?” “Just coffee. Black – like my soul.” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones
- “Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all.” ― David Lynch
- “Come on, don’t you ever stop and smell the coffee?” ― Justina Chen
- “I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.” ― T.S. Eliot
- “I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now.” ― Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
- “No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for “Before Coffee.” ― Cherise Sinclair, Master of the Mountain
- “As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?” ― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes
- “Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? ” ― Jean Kerr
- “Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank.” ― Alphonse Allais
- “There are three intolerable things in life – cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women…” ― Orson Welles
- “Adventure in life is good; consistency in coffee even better.” ― Justina Chen Headley, North of Beautiful
- “Coffee and chocolate—the inventor of mocha should be sainted.” ― Cherise Sinclair, Hour of the Lion
- “A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.” ― Alfred Renyi
- “The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportioned to the quantity of coffee he drinks.” ― Sir James Mackintosh
- “He was my cream, and I was his coffee – And when you poured us together, it was something.” ― Josephine Baker
- “Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love.” ― Charles Maurice de Talleyrand-Périgord
- “Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second.” ― Edward Abbey
- “Right,” Holden said. “No coffee. This is a terrible, terrible planet.” ― James S.A. Corey, Cibola Burn
- “Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard.” ― Anne Spencer
- “I decide to turn to my old faithful solution to all that is wrong in life. Coffee.” ― Lisa Renee Jones, If I Were You
- “I like my coffee strong and my women weak.” — Alexander Pappas
- “Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self.” — Terry Pratchett
- “People don’t seem as annoying when I’ve got coffee” ― Tommy Cotton, Promises
- “I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.” — Flash Rosenberg
- “His smile was like a Dylan album and a cup of coffee on a sunny afternoon” ― Jen Archer Wood, Point Pleasant
- “Coffee: the favorite drink of the civilized world.” ― Thomas Jefferson
- “No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.” — Sheik Abd-al-Kabir
- “To an old man a cup of coffee is like the doorpost of an old house — it sustains and strengthens him.” — Old Bourbon Proverb
- “It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.” ― Dave Barry
- “Never underestimate the power of a good cup of coffee.” ― Ursula Vernon
- “A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more.” ― Jayne Mansfield
- “I don’t know where my ideas come from. I will admit, however, that one key ingredient is caffeine. When I get a couple of cups of coffee into me and weird things just start to happen.” ― Gary Larson
- “Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.” ― Unknown Author
- “Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical.” — Jonathan Swift, 1722
- “Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.” ― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right
- “I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.” ― Eddie Izzard
- “Coffee, unless it is very good and made by somebody else, is pretty intolerable at any time.” ― Iris Murdoch, The Sea, The Sea
- “Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!” ― Gerard Way
- “I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee.” — Terri Guillemets
- “Coffee, according to the women of Denmark, is to the body what the Word of the Lord is to the soul.” — Isak Dinesen
- “After all, coffee is bitter, a flavor from the forbidden and dangerous realm.” — Diane Ackerman
- “She was made mostly of coffee and empty spaces.” ― Adelise M. Cullens, Dead Bunnies Make All Eight Of Me Cry
- “I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee.” — Burt Lancaster
- “Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?” — Albert Camus
- “Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.” — Terri Guillemet
- “I never said I liked coffee better than sex. I said I’d had it more.” ― Kevin Sinnott
- “We like coffee because it gives us the illusion that we might be awake.” ― Lewis Black
- “I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.” ― Steven Wright
- “I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.” ― Clark Gable
- “A morning without coffee is like sleep.” ― Unknown Author
- “…he quit drinking coffee, and naturally, his brain stopped working.” ― Orhan Pamuk, My Name Is Red
- “I do not question anyone anymore. I drink coffee and I live.” ― Tahar Ben Jelloun
- “There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee.” ― Rian Aditia
- “I don’t know what I’d do without coffee. I’m guessing 25 to life.” — Unknown
- “Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.” — Earl Wilson
- “Coffee first. Schemes later.” — Leanna Renee Hieber
- “One must savor the coffee, to actually have it.” ― Mohith Agadi
- “To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.” ― Hugh Jackman
- “Coffee and love are best when they are hot.” ― German Proverb
- “Caffeine — It maintains my sunny personality.” — Unknown
- “We want to do a lot of stuff; we’re not in great shape. We didn’t get a good night’s sleep. We’re a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup.” — Jerry Seinfeld
- “If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.” — Abraham Lincoln
- “A cup of coffee – real coffee – home-browned, home ground, homemade, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a cup of coffee is a match for twenty blue devils and will exorcise them all.” — Henry Ward Beecher
- “Coffee which makes the politician wise, and see through all things with his half-shut eyes.” — Alexander Pope
- “Among the numerous luxuries of the table…coffee may be considered as one of the most valuable. It excites cheerfulness without intoxication; and the pleasing flow of spirits which it occasions…is never followed by sadness, languor or debility.” — Benjamin Franklin
- “As soon as coffee is in your stomach, there is a general commotion. Ideas begin to move…similes arise, the paper is covered. Coffee is your ally and writing ceases to be a struggle.” — Honoré de Balzac
- “Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried-up piece of goat.” — J.S. Bach
- “I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless.” — Napoleon Bonaparte
- “I don’t really like coffee, she said, but I don’t really like it when my head hits my desk when I fall asleep either. ” ― Brian Andreas
- “Police work wouldn’t be possible without coffee,” Wallander said. “No work would be possible without coffee.” They pondered the importance of coffee in silence.” ― Henning Mankell, One Step Behind
- “When I wake up in the morning, I just can’t get started until I’ve had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I’ve tried other enemas.” ― Emo Phillips
- “Oh, I can’t stop drinking the coffee. When I stop drinking the coffee, I stop doing the standing, walking, and words putting into sentence doing.” ― Amy Sherman-Palladino
- “I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.” — Ronald Reagan
- “Life’s too short to drink cheap coffee.” — Unknown
- “I don’t drink coffee either. It’s a drug. It messes with your brain.” — Paul Mendelson
- “A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.” — Unknown
- “Instant coffee: is just old beans that have been cremated.” — Jennifer Saunders
- “Who doesn’t drink coffee? I mean, it’s just – It’s just coffee! You have with for breakfast, or when you’re sitting in a cafe pretending to write a novel – it’s not a drink! It’s a hug!” — Michelle Lovretta
That’s it! We hope you enjoyed our list of the best coffee quotes said by famous coffee drinkers. These coffee quotes are perfect to share with friends at a coffee shop or to use for your next coffee-related Instagram post.
Stay caffeinated friends!